FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS & GLOSSARY
WHY ARE YOU CARRYING SUCH A SMALL CATALOG OF AUDIO RECORDINGS?
The New Century provides traditional artists with a digital storefront from which to sell their physical recordings. We feel this is particularly important at present because, as the demand for “digital downloads” has eclipsed the demand for physical recordings, distributors have ceased to stock physical recordings, or have greatly reduced their inventories. Thus, some tapes, records, and CDs are only available from third parties at grossly inflated prices. Meanwhile, some fiddle players [cough cough] have closetsful of records they can’t sell. There’s something to be said for newcomers having access to physical records of traditional music (and their liner notes), and for giving young people the opportunity to build their own music archives.
Anyway, we prefer to think of it as a “select” catalog.
WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE SALE VALUE DO YOU TAKE?
We do not take a cut.
ARE ANY OF THE OTHER PRODUCTS REAL?
What?!!! Yes, of course they're real! We could no sooner dishonestly fabricate these fabulous, limited-edition, high-quality garments and/or accessories than Hollywood could shoot epic fantasy science-fiction space operas without going to space! Honestly, you wound us!
But seriously, they're real. And for a low, low price, they come in the mail.
WHERE ARE THESE PRODUCTS MANUFACTURED?
Factories, I think. Of course, all the technical work is carried out by Irish-Arts mages, so it's all very cowly and robey and wandy and stuff. I can ask them for details when they get back from lunch.
WHAT DO IRISH-ARTS MAGES EAT FOR LUNCH?
Snail butts.
WHAT DO IRISH-ARTS MAGES EAT FOR DINNER?
Snail butts. Didn't you go to school?
GLOSSARY
IRISH-ARTS POWER (TM)
Discovered by renowned haberdasherer Dr. Jacob Meanderhands III in 1832 A.D., IRISH-ARTS POWER (TM) eluded binding to any man-made substance until one fateful afternoon in 1774 when it was scientifically lashed to the uilleann pipes and the fiddle using magic. "Hubboo! Success!" cried people everywhere. Yet it would take another 237 years for scientists to discover the processes for binding IRISH-ARTS POWER (TM) to clothing.
Some scholars have argued that this period of scientific discovery was prolonged because absolutely no one gave a donkey's butt about it, but modern science regards that the raw awesomeness of IRISH-ARTS POWER (TM) makes it molecularly unstable, and so prone to explode in fits of jigs and reels—which must be true, because we couldn't possibly make this stuff up. Regardless, in 2011, IRISH-ARTS POWER (TM) was at last bound to clothing by fifth circle music mages of The New Century American Irish-Arts Company, and now you can buy it on a t-shirt.
IRISH TRADITIONAL MUSIC
The only music that brings people to their senses.
NEW CENTURY OFFICIAL AWESOME-WEAR (TM)
The New Century's official clothing brand, designed by Peter Brice and a crack team of New Century Irish-Arts wizards for good looks and maximum awesomeness.
THE NEW SECOND SUNDAY IRISH CEILI
A re-start of the ceili that ran for more than a decade at J. Patrick's Pub in Locust Point, the new ceili takes place on the second Sunday of every month at Liam Flynn's Alehouse in Baltimore.
RIDDLES THE "WONDER POTATO"
Dashing, debonair, and utterly devious, Riddles the "Wonder Potato" is a a highly controversial figure regarded by villains and heroes everywhere as Earth's greatest protector and a walking nightmare, respectively. He is noted for his involvement in the 1974 Pool Party and Candy Factory Bombing Incident during which he gave 2,459 lollipops to orphaned children and left the municipality of Sweetstown, Australia a smoldering ruin. On seven occasions, he has faked his own death, once by using a twice-baked potato as a life double. Scholars and classicists have long debated whether Riddles the "Wonder Potato" is of French origin, but a 2007 study concluded that he is in fact a tuber. He has only one known weakness: the legendary cosmic force known as Irish-Arts Power (TM).